Compassionate Starvation

Have you ever existed for an extended period of time on survival rations? The bland and scanty food may keep you alive, but eating becomes a mechanical exercise: there is no joy in it. You eat because you must. After a while, eating becomes something to be dreaded.

When you reach this point, you begin to dream about the great and elaborate feasts you will prepare once you can get food regularly again. Elaborate courses, or even ridiculously large amounts of some odd foods begin to invade your dreams. The longer you exist in this state, the more these dreams invade your life. Eventually they become all that you can think about. When you reach that stage, if things suddenly change and food becomes plentiful again, it seems to be a disappointment because it doesn’t match the dreams that have become more important than reality.

It has been my experience that this sort of thing happens with all hungers. Food, sex, comfort, companionship, and spirituality, all can reach the stage where the dreams take over and reality becomes pale in comparison. This is indeed a terrible place to be no matter what the passion.