Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

I'm very scared at this moment. I just called Mags and told her I need to get some professional help. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, and I'm just not feeling any joy in my life. I can't go on this way, but I'm scared of doing anything.

My brain is broken, and I'm not really sure I can handle that. I'm not much to look at, and have never been a great shake at sports. My mind has always been what I'm most proud of. To have it not working right scares me beyond measure. I truly wish that I didn't have to deal with this, but the side effects are starting to affect those around me, and I cannot allow that.

I sometimes envy Mags her manic depression. At least she gets the up swing to counter these periods of despair. I just get to deal with an ever deepening pit.

I'm scared, but I can't go on.