I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon....

What a strange week it’s been, and it’s only half over.

This past weekend, Mags and I attended the baronial birthday celebration, Ice Castles. Mags won the second highest service award that the barony offers. I was busy doing my thing as herald, reading out the scrolls in court, when I suddenly came across one that had a name I recognized. I want it noted for the record that I only did a momentary double take before reading out her scroll.

The rest of the day was busy, running around trying to do my job. The only sour note to the weekend was Mags crapping out before the after-event revel. I would have liked to have gone to that, but apparently it was not to be. Schaudenfreud will have to have it’s debut some other time.

Sunday was a day of rest, and (despite the requisite fight Sunday morning) all in all a good, relaxing day. I did absolutely nothing productive, and enjoyed every minute of it.

Monday was the first day of monumental news. I went for my first physical in years. I walked out with a diagnosis of being either hypothyroid or clinically depressed. I don’t think I had finished talking before the doctor wrote me a prescription for celexa. In a way, I’m glad that I now have the hope that the way I’m feeling won’t last forever, and in a way I’m scared that something is screwed up with my brain.

The most embarrassing part of the entire experience, however, came during the actual physical examination. We got to the “turn your head and cough” section, and Dr. A (who, to make matters worse, is young and attractive,) had to move me out of the way. Despite furiously thinking about baseball, I reacted. I’m sure my face turned purple, I could feel myself blushing so hard.

When I got home from work Monday night, Nibs IM’ed me at 10:30. I was up trying to make sense of what I had just found out. We ended up chatting for almost three and a half hours, sharing songs and fears back and forth. The crowning glory was a discussion of the nature of God at 1 AM. I found that I really miss those.

Tuesday was again quiet, with me going to bed early to make up for the lack of sleep the night before.

Today, I received the news that my sister-in-law is expecting their first child in mid-August. On the one hand, I’m overjoyed for them, and looking forward to having a new niece/nephew to dote on. On the other hand, I’m feeling envious that Ned gets to be a Dad.

As I write this, I’m feeling run-down and blue. I look at all those around me, and know I should be happy for them at what they are experiencing, but I can’t really seem to spit the bitter taste out of my mouth. Whatever the lab tests from Monday come back with, I hope that there is something that can allow me to feel happy again.

I seem to be on yet another long, strange trip of discovery. I hope I shall arrive soon.