Strange Days Indeed

I work as a dispatcher for a local Heating and Air conditioning company. As such, I am usually the one to answer the phone when it rings. I usually deal with people who are upset because they are too cold (or too hot) and want us to have been out yesterday to fix the problem. Sometimes, the problems are so over the top that I find it hard not to laugh when they tell me what's wrong. There was the guy who called because his furnace was smoking. I instructed him to turn the furnace off, as it was not safe to operate, and we would have someone out as quickly as possible. (This was during the first cold snap of the year, and as a result, we had something along the lines of sixty customers waiting for service.) Three hours later I got a tech free and called him, to learn that the fire department had just left. He had ignored my instructions and continued to run the furnace.

Then there was the time where the conversation went like this:
Me: "Hello, [Company Name], J-- speaking, how may I help you?"
Caller: "Help! My air conditioner is on fire!"
Me: "Have you called 911?"
Caller: "Well, no.."
Me: (Unable to stop myself), "Then why are you talking to me?"

Today a call came in that topped them all. I was off shift, waiting for Mags to pick me up, when my evening relief took a call. I wasn't really paying attention, until I heard her ask, "A shotgun?"

When she got off the phone, I asked her what had happened. Apparently, the customer had shot his heat pump, and was concerned that it was no longer working and seemed to be leaking some sort of oil. Then she asked me innocently, "Do you think we can fix it tonight?" To which I responded, "No, I don't think we can fix it, ever."

Many thingsremain to be answered, not the least of which is what on earth caused the customer to think shooting his heat pump was a good idea. I'll have to check tomorrow and report back.