You keep on using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means

One of these days I’m gonna learn not to read too much into casual comments. Be it the girl I had a crush on who called me “lover,” or the overhearing of part of a conversation that made me think someone I had a crush on was attracted to me. The worst were the times when I ended up in a situation with I woman I regarded as just a friend, yet still found attractive, that she saw as totally innocent, but seemed to me to be sexually charged. I though that maybe that was something I had left in the past when I got married, but apparently I was wrong.

This morning as Mags and I were driving into work, she suddenly blurted out with, “So, do vegans swallow?” Seeing as how the conversation up to that point had nothing to do with either food or sex, I jumped to the conclusion that she was flirting with me. (I heartily approve of being flirted with, BTW.) I’m rather pleased with myself for being able to shoot back with, “I’m not sure. I could do some research and get back to you.”

I couldn’t get the remark out of my mind all day. I really enjoy the rare occasions when Mags feels like initiating. By the end of the day, I had convinced myself that Mags was feeling like fooling around tonight. When she picked me up, I was all ready to pick up where we had left off. The conversation on the ride home revolved around the difficulties of the day. Finally, I had to ask; “Do vegans swallow? We weren’t talking about sex or food, where did that come from?”

It turns out it was something that had come up when she was talking with one of her girlfriends during the superbowl party last Sunday, and she just couldn’t get the line out of her head. Once again, I read too much into a casual comment. When will I learn?